March 4, 2011

Art Jobs

Where to Look:

Youth Internship Program
This is run by government. You have to find an organization that is willing to take you on as an intern, then they apply to the govt and get funding. It is an intership and you get paid. They say they have done 100s of internships so this seems like a good one.

Culture Works Art Jobs Bank
All across Canada.

Concordia Career and Planning Services Job Bank
You need to be a student to see this (which you are!).

ECUAD Job Bank
Lots of jobs/calls for submissions here.

Arts BC Job Board

Alliance for Arts Job Board
Vancouver area.

Ontario Cultural Council Jobs
Jobs in art institutions in Ontario.

Arts Jobs in the UK
Art jobs in Africa. JK they're in the UK.


Part time gallery assistant, Maple Ridge art gallery

Summer camp art instructor in Oakville Ontario.
Part of Canada Summer Jobs (CSJ) program, so you are supposed to be planning to return to full time studies in the fall.
Regional Programming Coordinator
Like what you did in Nelson, only in Prince George.
Young Curators Program
Centre for Canadian Architecture in Montreal. You submit a curatorial proposal for a project about architecture or urbanism, get a residency up to 10,000 for 3 months.
The Works Art and Design Festival
Edmonton. You get paid to do an internship for the festival and learn about curation. Summer.
Gallery Assistant
Summer job at Comox Valley on Vancouver Island.
Arts and Crafts Instructor
Summer camp in Ontario.

March 3, 2011

Charlie Sheen is not helping tigers

Possibly the worst piece about Charlie Sheen so far:
Charlie Sheen can talk all he wants about having tiger blood, but the sad truth is illegal poaching around the world is putting this magnificent creature at serious risk of extinction in the wild. Comments like Sheen's do nothing to help save tigers.
I thought Esquire was supposed to sense of humour. Other insights piecing insights provided in this piece: "Tiger blood is just blood," and Charlie Sheen is not actually a tiger.

They were lost, but now they're found

You have probably heard that Japan has lost its last two decades (of economic growth). But the unrealistically named Eamonn Fingleton reports that he has found them: they were there all along, just where Japan put them. The Japanese government was just hiding them! Apparently, Japanese stagnation must be a media myth, because although GDP growth has been slow, the yen has improved against the American dollar during the decades previously known as lost, and its current account surplus (whatever that is) has increased fivefold (or quintupulated). Furthermore, everything in Japan is getting better all the time:

The cars on the roads, for instance, are generally much larger and better equipped than in the 1980s (indeed state of the art navigation devices, for instance, are more or less standard on many models). Overseas vacation travel has more than doubled since the 1980s. The Japanese boast the world's most advanced cell phones, and the biggest and best high-definition television screens. Japan's already long life expectancy has increased by nearly two years. Its Internet connections are some of the world's fastest -- something like ten times faster on average than American speeds.

February 25, 2011

lululemon part of a right wing plot to control your ass

lululemon, maker of $98 pajama pants worn in public by adult women around the world, portrays itself as more than just a money-making venture. It has always come across to me as vaguely lefty, possibly because yoga is kind of a lefty hippy thing as practiced on the West Coast, but also because its manifesto includes standard leftist anti-Western medicine babble ("Stress is related to 99% of all illness"--Uh, does that include, like, AIDS, and malaria?) and golden rule derived environmentalism ("What we do to the earth we do to ourselves"). (It also spells its name in lowercase.) However, I have recently uncovered a plot which leads me to believe that lulu may if fact be the burning spear point of a right-wing takeover of the world's asses.

January 28, 2009

Roberto Bolano is the new James Frey

Apparently he wasn't a heroin addict, as suggested in a "narrative" he wrote for a collection of essays an articles. He also wasn't arrested and nearly executed in Chile when Pinochet came to power. Can we remember any other writers who got in trouble for lying and/or exageratting about drug use and/or jailtime? Bolano is lucky he's dead, otherwise he'd have to go on Oprah and cry.

December 26, 2008

DOs and DON'Ts


Write "easy listening" in the genre slot on your band's MySpace page. Hahaha! That never gets old.


Eat pomegranates. I know they're trendy right now, but they're basically the most overrated fruit in the world. There is way too much work for too little reward. I mean, you have to peel an orange, but once you've peeled it once, that's it, you're done. With a pomegranate, you basically do as much work as peeling an orange for every little weird seed pod thing. It's maybe like 9% fruit. It's total bullshit and it's probably bad for the environment. It's not okay and I'm tired of pretending like it is, so if I see you eating one I'm not going to just keep quiet.

December 28, 2007


What if books were made out of bread? Then, when you finished a book, you could eat it.

December 27, 2007

Cultural Relativism

I don't think it's really fair to call it "loose tea." To some cultures it's probably just "sexually liberated tea."

December 6, 2007

Such Thing as a Free Lunch

Top 10 Free Things

  1. Postage to your MP
  2. Extra shot at Delaney's
  3. Little bottle of alcohol attached to big bottle of alcohol
  4. 411 on payphones
  5. The Georgia Straight
  6. Parking on Granville Island
  7. Public transit on New Year's
  8. The beach
  9. Sex
  10. Libraries

December 3, 2007

Late Night Food - Fritz

Fritz is not the best poutine in Vancouver (that would be Belgian Fries on Commercial) and it's definitely not the cheapest. It's just the best place to go in Vancouver for poutine. Fritz is right downtown, half a block off of Granville, and it's open until 3am. No one is going to make it out to Commercial Drive before 10pm (when BF closes) because no one is drunk before 10pm. I don't know who thought that was a good idea but it wasn't.

Another good thing about Fritz is that when they add tax to their prices it comes out to nice round figures, like $6.00 or $4.50 and so on. All businesses should do this. Just round up, no one will notice, and plus they will be happy not to get back any stupid, heavy worthless coins. Does anyone actually spend pennies and nickels? I just put them in an empty hot chocolate tin or something which I then leave behind when I move because it's too heavy. I'm pretty sure I've never spent one.

The main draw at Fritz is the bald guy who works there, who my friends and I imaginatively refer to as "The Fritz Guy." You should go here after anything good happens to you, like you get a new job or a cute girl asks you out, because you tend to get pretty high on yourself after events like that, and the Fritz Guy will cut you back down to size before you lose your friends because you think you are better than them. It's not that he's rude or mean, it's just that his contemptuous stare will shoot like a laser into your soul and his devastatingly sarcastic customer service will make you feel squirmy and uncomfortable, so that you wonder what you did wrong. His smile is so smug and judgemental it makes you flinch. If you want to get on his good side, though, tell him that you think people who order mixed dips with their fries show a lack of character. My friend did that once, and he still remembers her every time she comes in. Oh and BTW do not under ANY circumstances use the word "fries" while in this store.

Fritz gets crowded around midnight. Come with a friend so you have something to talk about while you wait. Don't eat poutine alone anyway, or you'll feel like a loser. Don't order fries here, either. Why do people do that? The fries are the same as fries everywhere, they're not that great. Oh, what's that, the dips? Dips are stupid.